I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
