His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize