Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
