it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
