I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
