im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
