We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
