my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
