all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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