I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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