She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
