If that was your dad, he is hot
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
