first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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