i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
