Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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