Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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