Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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