Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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