I'm going to jail i love you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
