when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
