I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
