She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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