sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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