you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
