maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
