There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
