I cannot find my penis.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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