We won't sleep together?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize