yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize