Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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