dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
im six kinds of drunk right now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
pray to the hookup gods
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