This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
