god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
