It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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