He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
