Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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