i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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