i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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