'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
