My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
