i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
