His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
