What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
