cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
