so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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