I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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