Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
