Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
