I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No subtext here. People are naked.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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