You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
