I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
