Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
