i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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