I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
