batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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