I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
