Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
